Chilly..

Last night's train ride was not so bad. I had distractions and
thoughts keeping me company. As soon as I got off my stop I rushed
home. It was dark. I was paranoid that some bad person would attack
me from behind...but really they were just kids. I have always been so
sheltered. If i wasn't being driven back by someone, I receive text
messages from my sister and family offering to pick me up from the
city. I will temporary avoid them; No one needs to see me sad. For
some reason, without me saying a word, they seem to know. I feel like
the whole world can tell. I walk around with a long furrowed dark
dazed face...checking my phone every half hour and jumping every time
I feel a new message come through... Then i shake my head with a
smile. I think of how silly I am and sillier I look doing so. But i
am helpless when i am hopeful.

As I laid in bed, i pulled my blanket to cover my chilled ears.
Tuesdays used to be our intimate nights. But this Tuesday was
different. I observed - not only was I alone, but the mysterious tranquilizing moon was also nowhere in sight. Dark, cloudy and chilly it was, just as I
felt deep inside.