The Real Reason.

Over 3,000 page views and hundreds of emails, I don't even know where to begin. Thanks for setting me up guys. Looks like I've been tricked into the sea of singles! It's been only one week and and I can't even click a silly little Reply button. As sad as I was about the dissolution (or breakup as a non-accountant would say), I really am quite relieved. I mean, how could I ever think I would be okay with someone who is unwilling to hold me while I'm struggling and quivering in emotional pain? In most difficult decisions you make, there is always the reason you tell people, and then there's the REAL reason. Although others can't, some people can distinguish them from each other. We can tell people that it didn't work out because of timing. What people hear is..blah blah...who cares. My real reason was the perceived lack of loyalty. And if I can, I would emphasize "perceived" because it's only my opinion after all. I better write this so I and maybe others can learn from it. Cold and unnerving, I would wake up shaken and quivered - not something I would wish for anyone. From my perspective, the concerning fact is that even though there may have been viable and possible solutions to the problem, he showed no intention of trying. Not only was I left alone - I was left alone shaking. The solutions I suggested just would not feel natural. It seems he preferred to be on cruise control, no hard work necessary. I explained, I reasoned, I asked, I repeated. I know I don't ask for much...just the warmth of a hug or words of reassurance (nothing immoral, or maybe it was). There are people you believe and those you don't - and others who fall in between. Some take a lot of time to figure out, others take 3.5 years. How odd that on day one, I stared at my "list" and this was the one thing I questioned. And just for memory's sake, he wanted to tell me that he saw his X. I wondered how soon but regardless, 2 months after is soon enough. He wanted to tell me his conclusion from that meeting was since there were no trust issues while with her - it was strange that I had them. An invisible slap to my face. I felt shamed and disrespected. click "REPLY"