Mindset.

Gregg Cook - Equinox fitness instructor

I've heard great things about him through Equinox friends and, coincidentally over the summer had found a book called "Mindset" that belong to him. I read a bit of "Mindset" and it states that there are two distinct types of people - ones with a "fixed mindset" and the other with a growth mindset. People with a fixed mindset hold themselves back. They lend themselves a reason and and say: but this is the way I am...

Today I took Cook's afternoon TerraCycle class for the first time. I tried to book my bike online as soon as I settled in the office this morning, but it was already filled. Booo... Six spots usually available for front desk sign up - and that was also already filled 30 minutes prior to class. I'll try my luck anyway. I walked into the cycling studio and the room was filled with a variety of people with different shapes, sizes, and level of fitness - all with one goal - which is the intention to finish this class.

Anymore available bikes back there? - Cook asked
Nope - someone answered.
Ahhh shux....
I was disappointed, about to leave the room.

Then Mr. Cook - sweaty, with veins popping out of his fully shaved head, got off his stationary bike and offered it to me.
How awesome! =D I no longer had to wait another week to get into his class.

His session began with a difficult 9 minute climb. During his class he paced the room, watching each of us individually and our efforts. He motivated us, "keep it rolling to the tempo!" "All I can do is motivate you...but only YOU can decide how much you put into it."

He must have remembered I returned his lost book this summer because in the middle of class, he stood in front of my bike (well really it was his bike) and said "Get to a point where you feel you can't give anymore. Give it all you've got! Change that "mindset!!!" Make it difficult for you!!!" My heart was beating out of my chest and I was struggling for air. I was scared to get there - where I give so much my heart may just stop pumping. After that hour of class, I walked out of the room with my skin drenched from head to toe and luckily, my heart continued to pump. "Great job" he told me at least three times in class.

Most of us imagine our "goal" first and try to force our ways into habits that allow us to accomplish that goal... Soon after though, we realize we're stuck in a rut, tricking ourselves to believe that we are not able to do something because we say "this is the way I am."

But once you change the way you think about the underlying, all choices surrounding that aspect changes rather quickly and even naturally without force. I was never a "gym person" - has now become "I'm addicted to the gym." After getting my free month trial to Equinox in the beginning of this year, I suddenly enjoyed the benefits of working out. Now, my gym attendance is no longer a fitness regimen, but has become my lifestyle.

Let's remind ourselves to keep a growth mindset, because you're right, when there is a desire for change, this is NOT who I am.

Waiting...

Waiting.

One of the most frustrating part of life is waiting. Would you agree? I don't know anybody who likes to wait.

Waiting for another flight
Waiting for someone to move their ass
Waiting for ice cream

Is dreadful. It is not fun. Even with the happiest moments to come it is common to say "I cannot wait." The thought, anxiety and anticipation scrambled together drive me nuts. It is frustrating because it's something out of my control - left in the hands of another.

I am angry as I sit here in the HK airport having to wait 8 hours for the next flight to NY. I missed my 5:25 p.m. flight. I almost cried from frustration when the Cathay Pacific attendant said he tried his best to help. BULL. Helping does not mean to book us the next available flight nor does it help to put a priority sticker on my luggage. Saying I'm sorry 37 times with his high pitched voice does not help either. Actually I wanted to take his spikey Asian hair and pull it down hard to the conveyor belt, knock his teeth out so he could not say I'm sorry for the 38th time. We were 5 minutes late for check-in and what would have helped is if he had shut up from the beginning and quickly escorted us to where we needed to be. If security wouldn't let us through, then I know he did all that he could to help. Instead, I am stuck here waiting 8 hours for another flight.

I'm sure I've had others wait on me before and for that I can either say thank you or I'm sorry. For sure, I would not do so intentionally. My dear KC attended my first Salsa recital last week. He was on time as usual and secured a spot dead center of the dance floor to record my performance. The video turned out great, incomparable to any others I've seen. After the performances, KC waited for me as I had to clean up, thank my dance instructor and say my good-byes. After 5 long hours, he was tired and upset. It was late. I should've asked him to go home, instead he waited for me.

On a separate situation, my friend is currently experiencing a difficult break-up. I feel for her. It's obvious he totally digs her. The relationship ends because of differences in immediate goals. While her's is set, he needs to focus on setting and executing his career goals without distractions. Though there are prospects of them getting back together in the future, now, she's stuck to wait for what's next.

There are three things in life that once gone, never come back. They are
Time...
Words...and
Opportunity.

After writing this blog at the airport, I actually feel a sense of release as well as a sense of accomplishment. Don't waste our time, don't waste our words and certainly don't waste an opportunity. Maybe the secret ingredient here is productivity. Though having to wait may not be part of our control, our productivity is in our hands. If there's something I can suggest to myself if I happen to find myself waiting, it would be

Don't wait.
Do something! =)

Race Report - Triathlon #3 - NYC

Two weeks before my first Olympic distance race, I committed to swim a mile M-F in the pool, and I did. After counting the cumulative miles I've swam, I was now confident about the NYC Tri. Or was I? Because when I jumped into the Hudson for the Riverside Tune Up swim just a week prior to the race, I failed. From land I watched the currents push the first wave of swimmers downstream and I didn't see any participants make it around that first orange buoy like we were supposed to. I, got swept by the strong unwaivering current that the next thing I knew my body hit algea-covered wood pilings. My mouth opened while my eyes widened as I watched others struggled as I did. They hung tightly from a rope, trying hard not to get swept down by the current. I failed because I back stroked the whole damn way and hung on two separate boats to catch my breath. Though I was not DFL (Dead F**king Last), I think I was the runner up. =P

The night before the race, the memory of being afraid of that Hudson made me shed a tear. I couldn't sleep with the thought of backstroking the mile and watching the next waves of swimmers attack the water over me. It was raining during race day. Half of me wished the swim part would be cancelled but the other part of me knew the race wouldn't be the same without the swim. KC awoke extra early and drove me to Transition in the dark. I stood there and wiped off my bike seat while it rained. I was doing anything to keep my mind off my fear of the Hudson. I was afraid hoping endlessly to freeze time.

I knew my family was around somewhere. I was uneasy being alone. I was searching but no familiar faces, not even in my swim wave with the bright green cap to distract me. Then to my surprise, "Joy!" someone hollered. It was my friend Dennis who after partying all night and through the morning decided to pop in just before my swim start at
7:57 a.m. My fears were calmed as I asked him to watch over me along side the Hudson. This time, our swim route was much closer to shore. Countless kayakers guarded the route and the current looked like was something I could handle. We formed our lines. HORNNNN! I slipped myself into that dark body of water and off I went in my own steady pace. My goal was not to get my best time as I have been training for these past weeks, but to be as close to the kayakers as possible in case of an emergency. It turned out to be a comfortable swim as I can hear conversations happening along the shore on my left side and can clearly see the faces of the kayakers on my right. I watched others back stroke, breast stroke; I'm glad I did neither. I came out of the water so relaxed and clocked in at 23:22 minutes. My best mile while training in the pool (without the benefits of the current) was 24 minutes. I can only imagine how fast I could've came out of the Hudson if only I wasn't afraid.

The 40K bike ride was cool. Seeing some elite athletes zoom pass you is inspiring. I finished 25 miles in 1:31 hours, passing a few men along the way. =P

Aside from all the fear, the NYC Tri was an absolutely fun race. If you ever want to grow a full beard in just a few minutes, swim in The Hudson River! I was extremely nervous the week leading up to the event but time does not stop for anyone, and before I knew it, I finished it!!!!!! In 3:05 hours, it felt amazing crossing that finish line.

Commitment to Swim..

Since my last race, I've been overthinking my ability in the water (particularly the open water) - or lack there of. I have to admit that the swim portion of my last race was scary. I hated it and during the swim thought about giving up and never doing a triathlon again. But here I am, scheduled to do the NYC Tri in just 17 days. I'll be doing a team open water swim in Coney Island this Sunday with Carlie and have signed up for the Riverbank Tune Up Swim next weekend. I need as much exposure to this as possible so I don't freak out again. I want to document my 1 mile swim commitment here, so I know how I progress.

1 mile = 32 laps in a 25 meter pool
07.06.09 - 45:00 minutes (rough estimate)
07.06.09 - 44:21 minutes (estimate)
07.07.09 - 40:00 minutes (estimate)
07.09.09 - 35:31 minutes (using stop watch) pretty cool - I need music to get me faster!

07.10.09 - 39:10 minutes (what the hell?!?!)

07.12.09 - 37:47 minutes (open water, Coney Island - this is a little less than a mile)

07.13.09 - 40:06 minutes

07.14.09 - 40:36 minutes (after running hill repeats at the park, not too shabby)

Race Report - Triathlon #2 - Philadelphia

This Philly Tri was an awakener. We drove south Friday night in the midst of heavy hail and thunderstorm. There was a split of interest in the car about the rainfall. Some of us joked and secretly hoped for a red light on the swim portion due to the rain - meaning the race officials would deem the water too contaminated to swim in. Meanwhile Konrad, our professional photographer hoped for rain so his sports portfolio would look intensly dramatic. We ate dinner in the car, and after about 3 hours we arrived around 9 pm. In the hotel room we pumped our tires, showered and slept at 11 pm. At 5 am we awoke ready to race - well sort of. As soon as we arrived the site we noticed that the lines for packet pick up were long and ridiculously disorganized. By the time I reached the front, it was 7:45, literally 15 minutes before the gun shot of my wave (Female 25-29). How was I going to set up transition, put on my chip, stick on my race labels, and squeeze into my wetsuit WHEN I CANT EVEN FIND MY TRANSITION SPOT at 7:48 am??? Marianne suddenly appears wet from her warm up swim and points towards my transition rack. "Joy aren't you supposed to be there?" I was totally out of it! As soon as Marianne said "I'll help you set up transition" she instantly became my superhero! I wanted to hug her so tight but instead I froze and was almost speechless but tremendously greatful. She helped me do EVERYTHING! - including pin up my race number, stick on my bike number - the whole shebang and even zipped me up and sent me off to swim start. Before I left I hugged her - she was literally my life saver! When I entered swim start Konrad was right in front of my face. I looked so excited and happy from the picture he took but deep hidden inside my tight wetsuit was my heart throbbing, wanting to jump out. I tried to ignore it by looking around. No familiar faces like my first triathlon - it felt empty. I was scared. I listened to the athletes around me talking about the swim course which was unbeleivably confusing even from reading the description and drawing out the route yesterday. I stepped in the water and suddenly it was about 10 ft deep. I freaked out and quickly swam back to the rock. I wasn't going to spend the 2 minutes that I had treading water. As soon as they honked the horn I went in - BIG MISTAKE JOY. This shot my heart rate up. Though I didn't wear my heart rate monitor, I knew my heart beat was too high to begin with. I encountered twigs and water bottles floating. I tried to find the sun to help calm me down, but the clouds were in the way. I noticed many fellow girls in the gold cap struggling as well. Some were breast stroking and a few others back stroking. Because I ate a large breakfast 30 minutes before my swim, I developed air pockets that made me regurgitate non-stop. It made it difficult to breathe and I had to stay afloat on my back. I swallowed some water and choked. Then I tried to tread water. Even before I hit the first marker, I already thought about waving my swim cap to the kayakers. I knew if I did that though, I would disappoint myself and my family who came to support me. I threw my face back into the water to freestyle but the continuous burps wouldn't allow me. Even the backstroke couldn't lower my heart rate. I started to notice a few swimmers in the green cap swim pass me. Crap! The next wave already caught up! When I hit the first bouy I grabbed onto it and rested. My leg got tangled on the rope. A man with the green cap also hung on the bouy with me for about 25 seconds. I didn't want to let go but as soon as the man left, I felt obligated to let go as well. It felt almost like a survival swim. Soon after, I started to feel the chip on my leg hanging loose. Uh oh. That's not good! I have no way of adjusting it unless I grab onto something. I tried not to kick as hard and when I saw a kayak, I grabbed on to fix it. I backstroked 95% of the swim and during no part of the swim did I feel comfortable. I can say that I honestly freaked out the whole way through and this morning the only thing sore in my body is my neck. Though it was a disappointing swim, I am glad I didn't give up - no matter how uncomfortable it felt. The half mile swim took me 29.40 minutes to complete.

After 3:57 minutes in Transition 1, I hopped on my bike. The ride was smooth. The sun peered through during this time. It was mainly flat and I enjoyed seeing familiar faces up and down the route. It had many narrow rounded turns where family and friends gathered to cheer us on. It may have been a little dangerous having so many riders make 180 degree turns though. After my good ole friend Dennis helped me install my new Cateye cycling computer the day before, I was able to maintain 90 cadence throughout most of my ride. This really helped me. I completed the bike route in 55:07 minutes averaging 16.3 mph.

In Transition 2, someone yelled "The one in blue, you have 30 secuonds to get out of transition!" This scared the crap out of me. Did I really take forever at that swim and bike that I'm THAT much behind??? I ran faster outta there and another man cheered "C'mon Number 3131!" This gave me a boost of energy. Transition 2 took me 2.31 minutes (could be faster Joy!). The run wasn't so bad, though it was hot. The sun burned my shoulders. Luckily I had a cap this time to help. I completed the run in 29:45 minutes, averaging 9.35 pace. Dinky - as it wasn't much of an improvement from my first race.

Race complete at 2:01:02.

My commitment from here is to swim at least a mile everyday until my next race. Unless you want to regurgetate, no eating before swim!!! The NYC Tri is in 17 days!!! Here I go!

Help is a precious gift.

Days have become a bit overwhelming and hectic since I started Triathlon training. And as a result, I've started to lose a few personal belongings. I lost my sister's matching bracelet, my Polar watch, and even my soft tissue pouch! =(. The most recent item I lost was one of my diamond stud earrings - that happened two weeks ago. I was immediately shocked and upset by it, but because my mom and dad was not (and even offered to buy a matching one in Hong Kong for me), I let it go. I decided to continue wearing the other earring just so it can remind me to keep searching for the missing one. Dumb idea? I didn't think so at the time.

Today, while. showering after my swim session, I felt my ear lobes and realized that the other diamond was gone. **ck I blurted. Joy how can you be so stupid??? I quickly rushed out of the warm steamy shower stall and jumped right back into the cold pool lane. I searched the lane with a man who offered his help. He said "Don't worry! As a kid I loved searching for things under the water. That comment whipped a smile to my face. We planted our eyes to the bottom of the pool four times over until I gave up. The pool staff Esfra Lopez put on his glasses to help me look from along side the pool. He suggested that I come back when everyone is out of the pool during lane change so the water is calm. That I did, and after observing the pool floor slowly and carefully, I noticed something by the deep end. Teddy (Mr. Japanese lifeguard, who later coached my flip turns), Lopez (the gentleman with the intelligent suggestions), and Peter (the security guard) were all hopeful for me. They brought out the long net to fish for what could be my earring, but none was found. I jumped in and attempted to search but I didn't know how to dive down underneath. Stranger #2 offers her help as she was able to hold enough air in and get down to the 9 ft deep end. After several tries, I thanked her. It was amazing to encounter so many people willing to help a stranger. Mr. Japanese lifeguard comes out holding something black and asked "Who's Speedo is this?" Obviously it didn't belong to him but he was willing to put it on to get into the pool! He grabbed clear goggles (which mine were dark and tinted - not for indoor use) and dove in. This man can hold his breath for super long! After his first dive, he came up out of the water with the back stopper of my earring. It was in two broken pieces. We then knew the other part of my earring shouldn't be far. He went down for the second time as I floated, I watched him search. It looked like slow motion but no more than 30 seconds later, he picked something off the pool floor. I froze for a second and watched Mr. Japanese Lifeguard come up for air. He showed me what was between his fingertips and indeed it was my diamond.

Help is a precious gift.
Lucky are those who get it without asking.
Successful are those who seek it.
Generous are those who give it.

Today, I thank all those who lent me their hand. =)

Flip Turns, Oh Yeah!

About four months ago I threw myself in the pool to learn how to swim. I went every morning and struggled. I kicked my own ass; I was frustrated... I complimented my efforts and became motivated... Last week, Jose Santana (the lifeguard at Chelsea) called me a "swimmer"... ?? WHAT?? I've got a loooong way to go, but one day I told myself, I will feel natural in the water.

Last week, during my first swim coaching I ended the session with 3 things to keep in mind:
1. High elbows
2. Relax your hands on the recovery and cup them on the pull
3. Extend your right arm

Today, I was reminded to swim with:
1. Elbows wide (because my arms tend to cross my body frame in a narrowing inefficient recovery)
2. Relaxed wrist and hands
3. Kick with strength

This morning, the lifeguard on duty mentioned to Coach Carlie in passing that I was an amazing swimmer. ??? WHO??? Was he for real??? We laughed together because we both thought it was really funny - being that I've only jumped into the pool four months ago!!! Certainly, it boosted my spirit and awakened me to my potential ability in the water.

Towards the latter part of the session, when only one other person was in the lane, we decided to try some flipping under water! Yay! I've always been afraid of being upside down (even on ground) because I grew up with glasses that would always fall off my face. Recently though, I've been enjoying life glasses-free. I attempted to push off the ground, tuck, and roll into a ball - but instead, as soon as I pushed off and tucked, my body quickly bounced up above the water like a bouy. =T Hummm... After a few tries, I managed to flip, but in several weird directions, I couldn't even explain. It was dizzying and I didn't know where I was! Is this what life with alcohol in your system is like? Note to self: Start breathing out once your face gets in the water. Next up, I tried hand stands underwater. Though not very straight, I managed to keep both hands on the pool floor. Yep, I ended up with chlorine water in my nose and down my throat. I also sounded funny talking to Carlie - but it was all in good fun!

It was absolutely euphoric to be able to play like a kid again!

Life is good. Even with the rain.