The Greener Grass..

This entry was inspired by two separate friends I've conversed with this past month.

One friend of mine recently wrote me his concerns about developing feelings for another - prior to and while being in a committed relationship. He asked if these feelings were okay and asked for advice if one were to face that situation.

This is what I said:

I think that people have tendancies to encounter feelings for another from time to time (even when in a committed relationship). Therefore, I can say "it's okay" because it's human nature. Physical and emotional attraction is natural and, for the most part is out of one's control. I underlined for the most part because I think the mind is a very powerful tool. It tends to find what it's looking for (so it can be within your control).

A person in that position should sit back - see the bigger picture - and reassess the commitment in the relationship. Sometimes the physical and emotional attraction is such a small piece of the bigger picture. While an attraction can be temporary, a lifetime commitment such as marriage is not.

My other friend, similar to my previous friend was questioning her current situation. She said: "Joy, you don't strike me as this type, but I'm always thinking that the grass is greener on the other side of the fence." A couple of things came to mind:

- Take a peek. What makes their grass greener?
- The grass may appear greener, but is it really greener???

Unless there's an uncontrollable plague that is deteriorating your green, is it too difficult to beautify your own? I've seen it in the books, I've seen it happen. Try it. Make it a project. Plan it out. When you'll do it. How you'll do it. You may be surprised at how deep green your grass can get.

A Fine Line.

Kate Monster from Avenue Q sang it best:

There's a fine, fine line between a lover and a friend;
There's a fine, fine line between reality and pretend;
And you never know 'til you reach the top if it was worth the uphill climb.
There's a fine, fine line between love...
And a waste of time.

Two Wrongs Can Make It Right...

When will two wrongs make it right?

One of the things that bothered me about my last relationship was the fact that I rarely got a timely response to my emails and voicemails. No matter what means of communication I used, I was continuously left hanging. In my current relationship, I was reminded by how I've left him hanging on his texts and emails. This was unintentional on my part but one night over dinner my dad suggested to "do the same to her." Leave her hanging, he implied. I was surprised that this was what my dad had in mind as we were taught not to provoke revenge.

Not only does "what goes around comes around" apply, but I'm also going to get a taste of my own medicine. Awakened by this fact I've tried harder to be more responsive without compromising the thought that goes into my responses. This is my story of when two wrongs have made me see the right. Now a days when I don't get a text back, I tend to get a bit antsy.